food for thought.
As I’m entering into my 33rd year of life, I’ve come to some big realizations lately. I don’t know if it’s because I’m another year “wiser” or if it was the change of scenery from the suburbs to the city, but either way I’ve noticed a big change in myself these past six months or so.
I thought that moving to the city would make me a more rough and tumble individual. I’d care less about others and more about myself. I’d get caught up in the hustle and bustle and burn myself out again and again, finally throwing my hands in the air, admitting defeat, and running with my tail between my legs back to the sprawling suburbs. At least that is what I thought would happen….
What I’ve come to find is the complete opposite. I feel less rough and jaded, more sincere and open to new ideas. I care about my neighborhood and find myself wanting to connect to people I don’t even know. I’m volunteering with organizations that really speak to me, even though I’m out of my element sometimes.
I’ve also made a conscious decision to not be available via email 24/7 and I don’t even think about work on the weekends. People who are constantly connected sadden me and I want to shake them and tell them that they are wasting their lives away to a stupid screen. But, I’m semi-polite, so I don’t. Granted, I myself find the need for screen time now and again, but it does not rule my world like it used to.
I’ve found new hobbies and interests that make me want to disconnect and create with my hands – sewing, gardening, cooking. I’m constantly brainstorming how to make our home better, more inviting and efficient. And, there’s no way in hell I’ll ever move back to the suburbs. I’m a city gal for life!
The funny thing is, my outer self really doesn’t reflect all of these changes stirring inside. I still dress the same, and for the most part, act the same. I drive the same car and am as obsessed with my dog as much as ever. I still have a weakness for cupcakes and don’t mind binging on a reality TV show now and again. I continue to fight my greying hair and my flat bum. But my insides, my deep, most inner insides are evolving, morphing and re-working themselves into a new me.
Maybe this is what becoming an adult really means. Who knows. I sure don’t. But what I do know, is that I really am loving this new, aware self.
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